Dear Amanda,

I know we are in the season of love and affection, the season where the boos love and boo-less whine in the famous phrase ‘Aww, God when.” In this season and this time of the year, I can envision you gracefully seated in front of your phone or laptop, immersed in trends and shows on Twitter, Instagram, and other social media.  Amidst all this, you might question what seems wrong and what might be amiss in your life.

Amanda, I know you know love exists; you see it among your friends. You see them get engaged, married, and get into relationships. You see them adorned with gifts, chocolates, and flowers, and you hear their giggles filled with excitement and a stirring emotion as they communicate over the phone or facetime. I know you are happy for them and even bless God for their happiness, but I also see you soak your pillow at night over your absence of love. I even heard you say to yourself; I am done with finding love; you even say who love help?

Amanda, I know you do not mean it, but say so to make you feel better.

Amanda, your lingering questions and fears are valid, and I see it: I share them with you because everyone deserves someone to call their own, someone to love and be loved. Love is a beautiful gift to humanity by God, and companionship is a treasure worth cherishing. So, Amanda, you are correct in desiring it.

To answer your question about whether you are acceptable or all is well.

Amanda, maybe you’re perfectly fine, navigating through a season of waiting where God watches over you while orchestrating the perfect connection for you. Or perhaps you’re not settled due to a negative mindset, selective attitudes, or because you are conforming to the pressure of societal expectations.

Amanda, maybe nothing is wrong with you, but you are single because you are waiting for the right person, or you could be in a phase where God is refining you. Or something is wrong because your singleness stems from setting your life based on a specific timeline, missing the essence of the present. Amanda, your singleness may be God’s agenda and the best decision for you. Or perhaps you’re still single because you haven’t surrendered everything to God, letting Him be the ultimate judge of your life. Amanda, you must relinquish control of your life to God and allow Him to guide and rule it.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

(Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV))

Amanda, while you wait, adorning yourself with Heaven’s oil, consider whether you’re positioning yourself appropriately. Sometimes, your inability to be found may result from being hidden or isolated. Sometimes, God may require you to stay hidden because He is still working on and with you. But if that’s not the case, then know that isolation may keep you from being found.  Amanda, position yourself where God intends for you to be located!

Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor

(Ruth 3:3a ESV)

Amanda, consider above Noami’s word to Ruth, as that may be your own very answer. I hope you socialize and stay approachable while you wait. Also, Amanda, I thought I would do a little personality and attitude check with you. Are there attitudinal issues you are neglecting? Or changes you are resisting? Sometimes, your beauty, accomplishments, and posture may not be enough to attract a partner, so it is essential that you watch your attitude beyond your personal preferences. In this season of waiting, it’s necessary to discern whether you are the problem.

All the people of my town know that you [Ruth] are a woman of noble character

(Ruth 3:11b_NIV)

Know this, Amanda: you are not forgotten and you are the apple of God’s eye. Irrespective of your doubts, God cares, and it is his will that “None will lack its mate. For His mouth has commanded, And His Spirit has gathered them (Isa 34:16_AMP). Amanda, trust in God’s word for you and stay aligned with His promises. Amanda, live your life, and don’t let your relationship status define your joy. Your life is more than fleeting emotions, chocolates, and flowers.  

Love is beyond your present need for one now; love is beyond beautiful pictures, date nights, and the social media shenanigan. Love goes beyond the superficial- it is much deeper than you can take or imagine. Amanda, while you wait, please stay focused and build your capacity. Expand your spiritual bowl, be sensitive, and remain prepared to receive Love when it comes. I know the fears and uncertainty sit strong in your heart, and your biological clocks may be clicking, but Amanda, remain strong and don’t be moved by societal pressure.

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, Until he please.

(Song of Songs 8:4_KJV)  

Amanda, true love is sustained beyond the camera’s lens or societal expectations. It takes two to create a meaningful connection, but God, the orchestrator of Love, solidifies the foundation. Love is more than a superficial celebration. It’s a profound emotion rooted in the teachings of the Father. You must seek guidance from God, the father of love, to understand the depth and essence of love.

And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

(Ecce 4:12_AMP)

So again, Amanda, in this season of LOVE, and as you celebrate with others, know that you are not forgotten. Also, stay encouraged and anticipate God’s best for you. While beautiful love stories unfold around you, stay true to the book, Amanda. Celebrate with others, and don’t rush or settle for less than what God has for you. Wait patiently for the one deserving of your love, adornment, and being.

Amanda, as you wait, get busy! Don’t sit idle; I suggest an exciting activity: write your beautiful love story stamped with God’s promises for you. But while at it, let God script a beautiful love story for you. Stay grounded in the love of the Father.

Amanda, Your King is coming!

Until we meet again, embrace your singlehood journey.

Yours in singlehood,

Written by Mary Nwanua.

NB: as used above, Amanda represents every single lady trusting God for a partner. May God come through for you. Amen!

You can also read this Love is Not Touchy!